The blue deck chair: Fine dining and flightless pigeons

In an unashamed take from Graham Norton, I intend to write a few stories called ‘the blue deck chair.’ You are free to pull the lever and flip my chair. So please send feedback, flip, or let me walk…

A group of young people went out to celebrate life and each other. The restaurant was full, so they were allocated a table on the street, which was quite pleasant in the summer weather.

The restaurant was in K Road, Auckland, an interesting and diverse cultural experience at the best of times. It has, for as long as I can remember, had a seedy side to it. That aspect, in the current environment, has resulted in a growing population of Auckland’s homeless, situated conveniently close to the Grafton cemetery and bridge, which offer superior options for street living.

So, where middle-class privilege meets underclass homelessness, a homeless person sidled up to the table and asked if she could have a tomato off one of the diners’ plates. She was, unsurprisingly, told no. She walked up behind the person, put her grubby Oliver Twist hand into the plate of food and grabbed it anyway. The waiter came out, picked up the plate and replaced it. He then came out again and gave a takeaway packet of the food to the homeless person.

Clearly not content with that dish, the homeless person came up to another person and asked if they could have a meatball. Before that person could answer, the meatball was taken and stuffed in her mouth. Again, the waiter came out and the same routine unfolded. On the other side of the street, a group of homeless people had gathered, watching what was happening.

What could the group at the table have done differently? Stab the hand with a fork? Very satisfying, but classified as assault, according to a lawyer at the table. Perhaps say to the homeless person, “Sorry, I don’t recommend you eat off my plate. I have HIV, AIDS or some other illness you don’t want.” This worked for me in San Francisco—the beggar ran off as fast as they could when I said I had Covid. Maybe all stand up and look or sound threatening? Anyway, they didn’t.

What could the restaurant do? Well, it could not have street seating, for one. Or have a picket fence barrier for another. Or call the police quickly and chase the pigeons away. But they sure as hell should not have fed the pigeons, thus rewarding and encouraging that bad behaviour.

This restaurant also donates its leftover food to the City Mission each day. Perhaps they should tell the City Mission that if this continues, all donations will stop. In other words, set some consequences. The suggestion might sound like a protection racket at first glance, but sometimes tough choices are necessary when dealing with behaviour that threatens your business environment.

In business, as in life, compassion needs balance with clear boundaries. When we reward problematic behaviour, we inadvertently encourage more of it. Finding that balance between generosity and appropriate limits remains one of the most challenging aspects of business leadership.