The blue deck chair: Putting a price on loyalty

In an unashamed take from Graham Norton, I intend to write a few stories called ‘the blue deck chair.’ You are free to pull the lever and flip my chair. So please send feedback, flip, or let me walk…

Remember when we all jumped on the Flybuys bandwagon about thirty years ago? It seemed like a stroke of genius at the time. We’d rack up points, earn rewards, and bask in the warm glow of being recognised as loyal customers. Gee, what a cracking idea, we thought, making loyalty tangible and transparent.

We proudly carried our shiny new cards, ready to swipe at every opportunity. Over time, the immediate discounts became more enticing than the points, but those little plastic rectangles remained a constant reminder of our unwavering loyalty.

On the surface, it appeared to be a freebie. No membership fees, just pure rewards. But was it really free?

Think about this: twice a week, you’re fumbling through your wallet at the petrol station or supermarket, searching for that little piece of plastic. That’s effort; 104 times a year, you’re actively thinking about your loyalty—not to the shop, mind you, but to the bloody Flybuys card itself. You’re lugging it around 24/7, letting it occupy precious real estate in your brain. And now? Poof! Gone like a fart in the wind. Seems they lost our loyalty when they stopped offering anything of value.

So think about how, over 30 years, that’s 10,950 days of lugging around a 5-gram piece of plastic. Think about you, on average, covering 50 kilometres a day; that’s 547,500 kilometres of cartage. Now sure, it’s only 5 grams, but that is still 2.7 tonnes of freight for a kilometre. What is that worth? Probably a few hundred bucks?

Factor in the 10 seconds of your life you invest each time you whip out that card. That’s roughly 8 hours of active thought over three decades. Call that at minimum wage $16; that’s about $500 of loyalty invested into this pointless piece of plastic. And now that it’s gone, we’ve got to cash in.

Care to guess what that final number was? The one who picks the right number wins $100. (Hint: It’s probably less than you’d hoped.)

So what do you think, flip or walk? Vote here.

For those who have been following along with the blue deck chair series, here’s a little tally of the votes from previous articles.

Bruce started off with a bang in his debut, with 77% of voters choosing to let Bruce walk. But for the 23% of voters who chose to flip Bruce, he is currently in physiotherapy recovering from a sore shoulder caused by all the flipping.

Check back next month to hear whether Bruce walked off scot-free or has a new injury…