Setting and achieving personal goals

Boxers & Briefs Podcast #4: Psychological tips to navigate life challenges with Sophie Kaiser.

As a life and vitality coach, Sophie Kaiser helps busy people find more time for what brings them joy. Drawing from her own journey of transformation—from corporate career and single motherhood to entrepreneurship—she shares valuable insights about setting and achieving personal goals.

Many people feel shame about wanting it all—success, family, wealth, and happiness. Sophie challenges this either/or mentality, asserting that it’s possible to have everything you desire. The key lies in building your goals in a way that works for your personal circumstances and aligns with your values.

The power of language and self-talk

Our internal dialogue significantly impacts our ability to achieve goals. Sophie emphasises the importance of changing limiting language patterns:

• Replace “should” with “could” to shift from obligation to possibility
• Eliminate self-deprecating talk
• Recognise that comparison to others limits growth
• Understand that awareness is the first step to change

The journey toward personal goals typically follows three stages:

1. Initial motivation and excitement
2. The “messy middle” where old habits resurface
3. New habit formation and sustainable change

Most people abandon their goals during the second stage when motivation wanes, and old programming resurfaces. This is where support systems—coaches, friends, and accountability partners—become crucial.

The heart-mind connection

Research shows the heart recognises change six seconds before the brain processes it. This insight reveals why emotional connection to goals is crucial:

• The heart drives desire and intuition
• The brain follows with analysis and safety concerns
• Success requires aligning both heart and mind
• Focus on the emotional “why” behind goals

Not all goals serve our well-being. When setting personal goals, consider:

• The true motivation behind the goal
• Whether it aligns with your values
• If it supports overall wellbeing
• Whether it comes from internal desire or external pressure

Sophie uses the Wheel of Life (which she calls the Wheel of Joy) to help clients assess different life areas:

• Rate satisfaction in each life domain
• Identify associated emotions and challenges
• Recognise interconnections between areas
• Track progress over time
• Create balanced improvement across all areas

When pursuing multiple goals, consider:

• Current life stage and circumstances
• Personal values and priorities
• Impact on overall wellbeing
• Available resources and energy
• Long-term sustainability

When facing setbacks, remember:

• Change is rarely linear
• Old programming will try to resurface
• Regular maintenance is required
• Support systems are essential
• The only true failure is giving up

Sophie’s golden rule for personal goals is simple but powerful: Don’t wait. Whether it’s starting a business, improving health, or building relationships, the perfect time rarely exists. Fear often masks itself as “waiting for the right moment.” The key is to recognise this resistance and take action anyway.

“Life is both long and short,” Sophie notes. “You’ll come up with a million reasons why you can’t, shouldn’t, or need to wait. There’s always something in the way. The question is: are you going to let that stop you?”

Success in personal goals requires regular maintenance, just like a house needs ongoing care. The journey doesn’t end with achieving a goal – it’s about continuing to grow and evolve while maintaining what you’ve built.ng true to your values.